Another Tuesday, Another Moment with Jesus.

It’s been a while.

Ive still been in a place of worship. Most recently I’ve discovered the TRIBL app. It’s a free streaming service that allows you to to listen to a variety of worship music for my favorite cost (FREE!). It’s also home to Maverick City Music, which is an amazing collective of musicians who come together and freely worship. If you’re in the mood , download the app. I’ll leave the link to Real Thing below. Between this song and Coming Home by Housefires , I’ve been on my face.

Through this Journey of Discovery …

(Yes I’m singing the half and half theme song as I write this.)

Ya’ll know I’m a fan of spending time with yourself and evaluating where you are. I’m in the emotional ghetto trying to purchase real estate in the suburbs and get out of here ASAP. In this process I’ve found that writing has been my peace. This is something I’ve known, however it’s becoming more necessary. I’ve started a new nightly routine of shutting down and allowing myself to feel all that the day has brought on. I write it out and it’s done. Doesn’t always fix the problem but it’s my outlet. I don’t trust many people to shield my emotions (working on that).

Anyhoo, I have a lot of writing that I don’t share. So I’ll be sharing my free thoughts, poetry, and short stories in the near future. For now, Ill leave you with this Masego TinyDesk

Check In

It’s currently 1:30am and I’m up writing. It clears the clutter in my mind. I feel like I’ve been moving at 80 mph since I last posted. So many things, good that is, has come about.

On my latest quest to hear God, I’m wondering what are you believing him for today ? How can I pray with or for you ? Drop me a note in the comments.

Im not currently on any social media (except Snapchat from time to time) so you can catch me here, there, or through email until then.

In Mourning

Death is inevitable. We all must die one day. That’s the circle of life. In these past few months so many people have passed on. We don’t pay attention to what it means to die until it hits home for us. 

Everyday someone loses their person.

They have to wake up without their best friend and refigure out how to get through life. 

There comes a time when you’ve grown up and haven’t realized it.

Your appetite changes. Who would’ve thought I’d like caramel?

Your views and perspectives shift. 

Those you admire become human

& death happens without notice. 

That’s when we begin to notice our own mortality.

We have an inkling but don’t know truly what’s on the other side of living.

The shit is scary.

Yet we live and we mourn.

We eventually get better at coping with the loss.

However the pain still lingers.

Fight to rejoice in the life that was once here. 

Initially, I was going to share my thoughts on the passing of Nipsey ,Toni and navigating death. However part of my family is celebrating the life of one of ours and I’m shooketh. So that piece will come later. These are just my thoughts for the night.  

Dinner with a Stranger

Dinner with Strangers 

There’s a profound beauty in sitting across a bar and striking up a conversation with a stranger. Seemingly like old friends. Both in your own lonely seeking company.

That’s what happened to me yesterday (It’s been a few weeks ago since I wrote this). I went to indulge in Happy Hour at Cheesecake Factory. Usually the bar is packed, but it was just one lady. I did the normal thing and sat 5 seats down. I had my phone out prepared to read a book. I ordered my food and drink. We sat on in silence for a while until she asked “Do you have any meat in those, I was waiting to see if some would fall out” (referencing my buffalo blasts).

I burst into laughter. Tan didn’t know it, but I needed her company. Hell I didn’t know it.   We spent the next hour swapping life stories and her putting me on to the best specials around town (I’ll share some of those later).

As I was sitting there, I realized that life is about these moments. Moments of randomness outside of our normal where we sit back and enjoy each other’s company.  

I had plans to go pick up a package and get home, but I held off to enjoy the sacredness of our conversation. That dress could wait, I only ordered it three weeks prior. In that moment I had a sense of peace, and joy. I was heard, seen, and encouraged. I needed that.

I shared all of that to say: Stop and enjoy the small things in the moment. What you really need will find you if you stop running.

Making Time

Making Time

For about a month, I’ve been working on tying down a new routine to keep me sane. I also want to make the most of my time. I’m literally living in my prime and don’t want to see this year wasted.

I’ve made big improvements but I’m still struggling at times. Since I work 60ish hours a week, the time I have to myself is limited. This is also the reason for my inconsistencies in blogging. Evenings are usually when I do majority of of preparation.

First small step: I decided to push up my bedtime and wake up earlier

Currently my adjusted schedule is as follows:

6:00-6:30 - Wake up, check my Bible app , journal, check emails , get ready

7:00-4:30 Work

4:30 commute in prayer and good jams to second job. My car is where I wind down and pretend I’m Mariah Carey in ‘96. If I’m not commuting to work, I’m commuting home. During my home commute I have the goal of having a phone conversation with someone. Most times it’s someone I haven’t spoken to in a while. I spend 20-40ish minutes catching up and checking in with loved ones.

One of my biggest goals this year is focusing on being intentional in all of my relationships. Relationships are nothing without communication. I can’t be upset if no one reaches out to me, if I don’t reach out to them.

5:30 either I’m at home or arriving to work. On my off days my goal is to eventually convert this time into gym time.

On my work days, I get home around 9:30. Here I’ll have a small meal, and wind down time. 

I try to be in bed by 11/11:15. I start praying around 10:30.

I may turn on a podcast but I try to spend that time in silence, no noise , no phone, no jams , just me and my notebook.

I’ve found it extremely freeing to journal my day at the end of it. I can express all of my thoughts and go to sleep at peace.

Lastly I’ve started managing my time better by making use of this expensive ass Erin Condren planner that I purchased for the new year and utilize the calendar in my phone. Small steps but I’m making progress.

How do you organize your time ?

Tuesday’s with Jesus

“Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen.”

‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11:1‬ ‭HCSB‬‬

It’s Tuesday my friend.

I’m here clinging to my faith.

Sunday was an adventure.

I started the day in an uplifting adventure that attempted to turn into a downward spiral. 

I was met with unexpected news and almost drowned myself out in my emotions.

Before I could even step into the ring of pity, my sister reminded me that we serve a God that is victorious and faithful. 

Just as we have faith in Him, He has faith in us to be who He has created us to be. 

I can’t help but do anything except worship in this season. 

So much is moving, and I could easily be swayed and discouraged.

However, I know God as Abba (Father) the healer and redeemer.

From what I know about Him, I’ll stand firm in this faith that I have.

God has yet to fail me, and He won’t. 

Side note: Last week , I mentioned that I was changing the way I’m doing my bible studies.   The question I’ve been tackling is, Who is God as the Potter? Whew Chile, I’m on a roller coaster. I’ll share some of those notes with you as I wrap up that study in the future. 

Also, Housefires just released Housefires V and it’s amazing. I love all of their albums. They’re my favorite worship collective. Hopefully I’ll be able to be present for Housefires VI or VII one day. 

As my pastor always ends the day ,

May the Lord bless you and keep you 🥰